Oh, you’re going to become a personal trainer? Dude, you’re going to be absolutely shredded!
I should hire you, I’ve got some work to do *pats tummy self deprecatingly*
You specialize in weight lifting? I’ve heard that’s the best way to lose weight.
If I train with you, will I get an ass like that?
Since deciding to become a personal trainer about a year ago, these are just a few of the comments I’ve heard pretty regularly. And absolutely no shade to these folks, some of whom are my dearest friends and family members! For most of us, fitness culture and diet culture are so interlinked that the Venn Diagram is just a circle. When I say that I’m actually a body neutral personal trainer, I get a lot of blank stares. Or, even worse, I see people get embarrassed and shut down or change the subject.
So, today I want to explore what the term “body neutral personal trainer” means to me. I’ll also be giving a little sneak peek into what body neutral training and goal setting looks like and what you can and can’t expect from our sessions together.
First things first: what is body neutrality?
Body neutrality is a mindset shift that prioritizes function and feeling over appearance. AKA it’s not about how you look, it’s about how you feel. It’s about how confidently you can move and how comfortably you can do the things you love.
In the words of Anne Poirier, who coined the term body neutrality in 2015, “Body neutrality prioritizes the body’s function, and what the body can do, rather than its appearance. You don’t have to love or hate it. You can feel neutral towards it.”
For me, neutral translates to judgment free. And in that judgment free zone there’s more space to get curious about what your body is capable of.
So, what’s it like to work with a body neutral personal trainer?
Wait. Don’t personal trainers help people exercise their bodies? You caught me there! But here are some of the things that make body neutral training a little bit different than the personal training you’ve likely seen on tv, social media, and (god forbid) shows like The Biggest Loser.
I won’t ask you about your weight
Full stop. I don’t need to know your weight. I don’t need to know your current weight. We won’t work together to establish a goal weight. The only reason I *might* need to know your weight (and that’s a big might) is to ensure your safety while using certain pieces of gym equipment.
Why don’t I need to know your weight? Because it’s less interesting to me than your health. And contrary to popular belief, your weight and your health are not the same thing.
As someone who’s lived with a diagnosed eating disorder for 15+ years, I know the terrible power of the scale. Those stupid little numbers can make or break an entire day or week. They can discourage us from taking care of our bodies because we’re “not seeing results.” Or they can cause us to disregard our body’s needs by overtraining and undereating.
So, as a body neutral personal trainer, I don’t require weigh-ins. I won’t ask for your BMI (which is racist, misogynistic bullshit developed by a mathematician anyways). We won’t calculate your body fat percentage or use those humiliating little fat calipers and measuring tapes. And, importantly, I’ll never comment on your weight.
No “before and after” photos
Have you ever participated in a workout program that encouraged you to strip down to your skivvies, stand against a blank wall, and make sure to get photos from the front, both sides, and back? How did you feel while you were taking those pictures? How did you feel looking at them?
Speaking from my own experience, it feels bad. And it’s supposed to feel bad, because that’s how they motivate you to change by starting a new exercise program. Feasibly, coaches tell you to take before photos so you can track your progress and see how your body is changing from week to week. Sure, makes sense. But that implies that you should want and expect your body’s appearance to change.
I don’t like that these photos imply your “before” body is bad and needs to be changed. Nor do I love the idea that your “after” body is good/better, even if there are significant changes to the way you look. A photo can’t show that you’ve developed better range of motion and control in a squat. It doesn’t show a lower resting heart rate or how it’s gotten easier to play with your dog or hike with your friends.
At their core, before and after photos are a marketing tactic. When you look at someone’s after picture, you’re supposed to think, “Wow. If I hire this trainer/buy this program/ride my Peloton every day I could look like that.” And I don’t have time in this post to get into all the ways that’s a total racket.
I won’t ask what you’re eating (unless I want a bite)
I made a conscious decision not to become a dietician, nutritionist, or certified nutrition coach. And that’s because it’s taken me a lot of years to develop a neutral relationship with food.
Throughout my teens and early 20s I spent a lot of time restricting, cutting out entire food groups, and experimenting with fasts and cleanses. I could justify this behavior because I was just trying to “eat clean,” or “be healthy.” In reality, I was feeding my eating disorder instead of my body.
If calorie counting and food journaling work for you, that’s awesome, friend! For people without a history of disordered eating, they can be powerful health tools. But I know myself and I know that food tracking is a slippery slope for me. And I never ask my clients to use any tool that I can’t completely and enthusiastically endorse.
I’ll never frame exercise as a punishment or incentive
CW: fitness industry, pro-diet culture bullshit.
I’m writing this around the holidays, so it’s extra present for me right now: the idea that exercise is a punishment for “overindulging” or a way to “earn your food.”
As a body neutral personal trainer, I hate this scare tactic messaging. I don’t want my clients justifying an extra piece of pumpkin pie because they trained with me in the morning. Just eat the pie (and bring me some!).
I don’t even want to type out other examples because it feels so harmful (plus, you’re likely already surrounded by examples in your daily life). Let’s just say, if you have a personal trainer or fitness coach saying you need to exercise to “earn” your holiday meals, no you don’t. Your body needs and is worthy of food, whether you pick up heavy metal or not. Just like your body needs and deserves movement, no matter what you’ve eaten recently.
How Does Goal Setting Work With A Body Neutral Personal Trainer?
So far I’ve shared a lot of what body neutral training isn’t. But what is it? Like I mentioned up top, body neutral training focuses on what your body can do. That means, goal setting will generally be outcome or process focused. Here are some examples.
Outcome goals
These are great if you have a specific event you’re training for or specific goals for your favorite training style. They’re also applicable to things like your resting heart rate and other health markers like blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. Examples include:
- Lower your resting heart rate by getting 150 minutes of moderate cardio each work
- Run a 5k without stopping or have a new race PR
- Hit a new squat personal best by the end of the year
- Get your blood pressure into a normal/healthy range
- Do 10 consecutive pull-ups in 6 months
- Swim from Florida to Cuba like Diana Nyad (ok, I’m probably not the best coach to help you with this one)
Process goals
These are goals that relate to your daily and weekly habits. They’re an ongoing goal that just requires you to show up and do what you’ve said you want to. They include things like:
- Exercising twice a week for at least 60 minutes per session for at least 8 weeks
- Doing a combination of yoga, strength training, and aerobic training for 3-5 sessions each week through the end of the year
- Committing to one heavy weight lifting day each week for the whole summer
- Walk your dog for at least 20 minutes every single day
Depending on your favorite style of exercise, you can also look at setting performance goals. For example, doing your first ass-to-grass squat or learning proper form on a kettlebell swing. Holding a handstand for a whole minute or increasing your sprint endurance so you can be a more competitive pickleball player. The options are endless and endlessly customizable to you and your lifestyle.
Ready To Try It Out?
Ultimately, my goal as a body neutral personal trainer is to help you live your absolute best life. No matter what that means for you. We’ll work together to find the goals and exercise modalities that motivate you, so you’re excited to show up for our sessions.
I’m starting to book sessions for 2024! If you’re interested but still have questions, let’s talk. You can schedule a free Discovery Call to see if we’re a good fit. Want to train with me but don’t live in Portland? I’ve got you covered! I have my NASM Virtual Coaching Specialization, so we can train from anywhere. I hope you’re all doing well out there, and can’t wait to connect in the coming days/weeks/months/years!
